Nice to know

South Dakota is a Landlord favored state. Enough said!

Laughing my butt off

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHmwahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAH....and finally HA!!!! So there..Take that!

Shipwrecked

"Don't rock the boat!"

Can anyone really ever recover when their boat has been rocked? Yes they can when it is a mild stirring of water beneath...but occasionally there is a swell that rocks the boat so hard you become shipwrecked.

There are something that are better off avoided. Like the street that the Ford pickup plowed into the Honda I was riding in...Fiesta Ole sour cream...and recent events. I am not sorry for wanting to avoid it all. I have nothing nice streaming through my head. I have a temper and I know that I can control it...but I really have no desire to at the moment.

I grew up in a family that talked (or yelled) about the way we feel. My husband grew up in a family that is emotionally insensitive...they get over it quick. I didn't grow up there. I once told my father in law, in a loud voice (I am sure), that I didn't grow up in his family so leave me alone...Let's just say moving is stressful enough and if I want my stuff moved in a gentle manner an I voice my opinion about it...You had better stay out of my way. (this was a few years back, maybe move 8) I am really not scared. I just like to be in control of the situation and in a storm there really is no control at all.

Right now we are shipwrecked. I feel like Robinson Crusoe, without the cool tree house. Pirates have invaded and although it has been weeks, there is the likely hood that they will be back. A little bit family, a little bit coworker, a little bit friend...I have a pit ready...and we are working on our boat.

I see nothing wrong with avoiding things. If a snake bites you, do you put your hand back in the hole? Heck no!

There are a few ships on the horizon...will one of them be for us? There are options.

There is no forgiveness in a canoe.

It's all about ME

I've had a lot of time to think and let my mind race over the last few days. Driving alone in the car didn't help. I've worked out conversations between family, friends, my kids, and just myself. I worked out social situations, family get togethers, and business opportunities. I like to be prepared...even if those things never occur.

But the one thing that I realized is that it is all about me...ME Me ME ME MEEEE ME...Me, Myself and I. I am not the only person that believes that. My husband is all for it being about me (a lot of the time, but I never forget him). My kids rely on me without me there would be no homemade macaroni. My friends go out with me and I love them for thinking of me. My world revolves around me...if it didn't then it wouldn't really be my world would it, and we all know it is. So it is Me ME me me me me Me ME ME ME!

And if it is all about me then I just don't think that I should carre so much about what other people are believing or thinking about me. It is Me and that is all I need to care about. So if I hurt your feelings you're just gonna have to tell me because I don't give a flying anything unless you tell me. I am not a mind reader in my world. I am my own personal DIVA. Yes I am a diva and I can be a drama queen if the role is needed. If you have a beef with me then stop spreading rumors about things you think happened or didn't even occur. You aren't me so stay out of it. If you love me then tell me because I really am not paying attention and I probably won't stop long enough to dwell on it.

I am not saying I am perfect in this Me driven world. I am not sure that anyone out there can say they are perfect (and if they do, we all know they are lying their butts off!). I know I am not perfect and I can get off my high horse to come down to your level and apologize...but that only is extended so far and after that it is over. I'll hold a grudge if I need to, but those who know me best know that even my worst enemy can be my very best friend (even if you decide to never let them into your home).
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

Suckdum

No internet, no furniture, no time...It just sucks. It sucks we are moving home. It sucks we aren't staying. It sucks we aren't there yet. It really sucks. So much for positive right?

I think the hubby realizes that we have an awesome house, but it is funny that is all there is. Who really wants to travel 4 hours to get to something or do something. It's funny that it just comes naturally here. Like no big deal to drop the money to travel. It's like a mini vacation just to do your shopping. Nothing like dropping a grand in a day or two for hotel, food, clothes, things.

It's gonna suck to drive alone, but kind of nice to have a break. Here's one for the road. Hope the house goes quickly so I can get a new one far away and get out of the Suckdum realm.

Foggy

It is hard to be positive when you are driving through pea soup fog. Why in the heck are there so many freakin idiots driving around with no lights?! Hello...if you can't see the people with their lights on why don't you turn your headlights on...You freakin fools.

Yesterday we also had dense fog...I almost plowed into one of those no lighted idiots when they pulled out in front of me on a curve. I'm just glad that the Tahoe speed demon wasn't on the road behind me today. I absolutely hate that he can't leave early enough to drive 60 instead of the 80 MPH  he feels is safe. I also love when he passes 4 cars in a row with oncoming traffic breaking to avoid him on the ice. Boy he is one smart cookie.

I am missing California. When the dense fog rolls in over 4 lanes of freeway speeding traffic coming to a dead stop there are no thin sheets of ice preventing you from doing so. Nothing like coming around the corner from Vacaville to Fairfield to dead stop in your face. I am amazed I even did it for 5 years. I hate traffic, I hate crowds, and I hate cars. I miss warmth...I miss fresh produce...I miss delivery.

It's amazing what people think about you. Like no one knows I qualify for disability. I have mornings when I can't even get up out of bed because I can't move my leg. I have been putting off that 4th back surgery because I am not in the mood to suffer month and months through the pain, having someone have to take care of my kids because I can't pick them up, and know that I will never be able to twist or turn from my waist. Why is our insurance company the only one that won't cover artificial disks? Here I am damaging the bones in my back because there is no disk left to cushion. Bet you didn't know it was that bad. Glad I cleared that up...get off my back, my house is messy because I can't do it all myself.

It's only fair

You may all think I am heartless, but It is only fair that everyone that reads my blog including family know that I did lash out on my blog...But only after my brother in law threatened to kill me on Facebook! He posted it and it is only fair that everyone who isn't on his friend list know that is what happened here.

 (I have a screen shot of his post posted just minutes after leaving a comment on my page)

I never called anyone names, threatened them, or post crude pictures about them..I did apologize to one party over a comment I made in the post that followed.

This is the message that inspired the threat

 Back story...I sent hubby to the store to buy 3 apples for dipping caramel (ate one that night). He placed the bag on my counter and I had one apple left that morning. Um...Over an apple? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I know I have pointed this out several times that no one is here in my shoes...But even a house guest should not threaten to kill their host. Plus if you don't think I know what it is like to be a house guest, I have been one several times even living with my in laws without my husband. When you are a guest you walk on eggshells. It isn't your home, you don't insult the host, or tell them their cooking sucks (cooking my kids favorites) when you aren't contributing. I've been there and this isn't my first house guest either. Do I expect we will always get along...Heck no. It sucks to live with anyone in your house or theirs. It sucks! Get over it or move out...That's the plan.

Will we be living in Idaho long? At this point highly unlikely arrangements are being discussed to move as far away as possible as I type!

Time for Change

Recently this blog took a path that was not what I intended. I am not going to apologize anymore for it. This is not a family blog...It just isn't. It was never meant to be.

Due to the last couple of posts things have gone negative, so I removed them. It was never my intention to be very negative or involve family members or friends.

This is a blog about the stuff racing through my head late at night keeping me awake. This last week went down hill quickly. I'm not sorry for feeling the way I have, but I have deleted the last 3 posts of complaints and apologies.

From this point on my blog will still be open and your welcome to follow. I just don't care any more. I'll try to stay positive, but as most of us know. Things don't go our way, we aren't always positive, and like the 1st line in the header Take it with a grain of salt. This is just the secrets of a mommy blogger not a mommy blogging site.