The women

Went to a women conference today at church and I realized that I have really missed out the last 4 years. It was nice to be around all the women from my past and get the advise from them that I had gotten as a teenager. It also made me realize that I do have some in depth things that I could be using my blog for instead of a post on peeing in the woods (which was not a how to, by the way).

My parents are outside with my kids gardening right now (something that I just despise) and they are having a great time. After one mini class I took, I've realized that I have let the worldly things take over. I love to watch Criminal Minds, but am I gonna die without it? No, I don't think so. A speaker quoted someone else (which I don't recall whom) "Things that are priorities are not interruptions." This class was focusing on family, but the class before this was a focus on priorities. The last class I took (there were 6 and we could choose 3) we talked about weathering storms, being rooted in faith, surviving trials and tribulations...There were specific names for all these classes, which I have written down in the basement, but I am not going to go down and get and it really doesn't matter. 

So...I've really been thinking about the way I would like things to go and the things these women taught. I am going to work on sharing the points they were making and the challenges they had for us. Some won't be as easy as others, but I'll work on them a week at a time. I know it would all be easier if our house was sold and we had our own place, but until that happens I can stumble through it all. Hope you all can bare with me while I attempt to make some changes in our lives...I am still going to hold onto 3 different grudges that I have and I'll own them too, but I'll try to let the others go.

Oh Poo!

Why is it when you think your life will come together it doesn't?

I just found the perfect house...That I could take or leave, but it has the absolute cutest playroom. I have never seen one as fun as this. The Realtor and I were both on our hands and knees crawling through it too.

On the way home my daughter, who in the past has seemed to have premonitions says, "You know mom we don't live in Idaho. We are just visiting."

But then the hubby comes home and says that although he was hired to improve the work environment he was told today not to improve anything or his job would be phased out. His job isn't a job that can be phased out and if it was they would have to provide a job at another location...so really it wouldn't be a big deal if he improves things because he doesn't want to stay at all now...

Guess I'll never really get what I want because I want Idaho...so Hello to Washington? Montana? Texas? Oregon? or (gasp) South Dakota again.

April Fools was not so Funny

Because I have lurkers and many versions of this story have already been going around I am going to share a personal story:

I woke up this morning not really thinking about it being April Fools. My husband slept in an extra hour and with an hour drive to work...that was not so funny.

Because I woke him up and hurried to help him pack a lunch. I couldn't go back to sleep...again not so funny.

5 hours later the kids woke up and began horsing around. We started to clean up the house because I knew my sister would be coming over. Since the baby had thrown up the night before I started to make Cream of Wheat and cleaning had come to a halt. Laughter was echoing over the half wall form the girls, but suddenly I heard a loud bonk from the coffee table area and a scream.
I rushed around the corner where the baby was crying. I scooped her up into my arms and began to carry her over to her blanket. As we neared the chair she began to arch away from me, but she never came back and she made no sound. Her back began to pop and I reached out for her head to bring her up. As I brought her close her eyes rolled back in her head and she wasn't breathing.
I called for my 7 and 6 years old to call 911. Dumbfounded and confused they couldn't help me. I cradled my sweet baby in my arms as I floated across the kitchen to a phone. I held her in my arms and cupped her chin as I spoke her name. The 911 operator answered as I rushed back to the living room and put her on her back. I began rubbing her chest and I was explaining the accident that I had been unable to see. I probed the 6 yr old for answers to the questions.
"She hit the corner of the coffee table, mommy."
"I know but where on her body, sweetheart?"
She pointed to her body, but became confused and then said no it was her chin. I lifted her chin and saw the red mark. She began to breath shallow and looked shocked. I told the operator she was breathing again. The operator assured me that she would send an ambulance any way and hung up.Being just 5 minutes from the hospital, I was expecting them to be there quickly, but I was able to call my husband and my mother and let them know what was going on.
My poor sweet baby lay on the floor in silence for an hour while the caring paramedic cared for her and asked about our family. The other paramedic brought all the kids a stuffed animal...not funny at all.

Someone needs to teach my baby that this April Fools joke went just a bit too far, lol.

Nice to know

South Dakota is a Landlord favored state. Enough said!

Laughing my butt off

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHmwahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAH....and finally HA!!!! So there..Take that!

Shipwrecked

"Don't rock the boat!"

Can anyone really ever recover when their boat has been rocked? Yes they can when it is a mild stirring of water beneath...but occasionally there is a swell that rocks the boat so hard you become shipwrecked.

There are something that are better off avoided. Like the street that the Ford pickup plowed into the Honda I was riding in...Fiesta Ole sour cream...and recent events. I am not sorry for wanting to avoid it all. I have nothing nice streaming through my head. I have a temper and I know that I can control it...but I really have no desire to at the moment.

I grew up in a family that talked (or yelled) about the way we feel. My husband grew up in a family that is emotionally insensitive...they get over it quick. I didn't grow up there. I once told my father in law, in a loud voice (I am sure), that I didn't grow up in his family so leave me alone...Let's just say moving is stressful enough and if I want my stuff moved in a gentle manner an I voice my opinion about it...You had better stay out of my way. (this was a few years back, maybe move 8) I am really not scared. I just like to be in control of the situation and in a storm there really is no control at all.

Right now we are shipwrecked. I feel like Robinson Crusoe, without the cool tree house. Pirates have invaded and although it has been weeks, there is the likely hood that they will be back. A little bit family, a little bit coworker, a little bit friend...I have a pit ready...and we are working on our boat.

I see nothing wrong with avoiding things. If a snake bites you, do you put your hand back in the hole? Heck no!

There are a few ships on the horizon...will one of them be for us? There are options.

There is no forgiveness in a canoe.

It's all about ME

I've had a lot of time to think and let my mind race over the last few days. Driving alone in the car didn't help. I've worked out conversations between family, friends, my kids, and just myself. I worked out social situations, family get togethers, and business opportunities. I like to be prepared...even if those things never occur.

But the one thing that I realized is that it is all about me...ME Me ME ME MEEEE ME...Me, Myself and I. I am not the only person that believes that. My husband is all for it being about me (a lot of the time, but I never forget him). My kids rely on me without me there would be no homemade macaroni. My friends go out with me and I love them for thinking of me. My world revolves around me...if it didn't then it wouldn't really be my world would it, and we all know it is. So it is Me ME me me me me Me ME ME ME!

And if it is all about me then I just don't think that I should carre so much about what other people are believing or thinking about me. It is Me and that is all I need to care about. So if I hurt your feelings you're just gonna have to tell me because I don't give a flying anything unless you tell me. I am not a mind reader in my world. I am my own personal DIVA. Yes I am a diva and I can be a drama queen if the role is needed. If you have a beef with me then stop spreading rumors about things you think happened or didn't even occur. You aren't me so stay out of it. If you love me then tell me because I really am not paying attention and I probably won't stop long enough to dwell on it.

I am not saying I am perfect in this Me driven world. I am not sure that anyone out there can say they are perfect (and if they do, we all know they are lying their butts off!). I know I am not perfect and I can get off my high horse to come down to your level and apologize...but that only is extended so far and after that it is over. I'll hold a grudge if I need to, but those who know me best know that even my worst enemy can be my very best friend (even if you decide to never let them into your home).
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

Suckdum

No internet, no furniture, no time...It just sucks. It sucks we are moving home. It sucks we aren't staying. It sucks we aren't there yet. It really sucks. So much for positive right?

I think the hubby realizes that we have an awesome house, but it is funny that is all there is. Who really wants to travel 4 hours to get to something or do something. It's funny that it just comes naturally here. Like no big deal to drop the money to travel. It's like a mini vacation just to do your shopping. Nothing like dropping a grand in a day or two for hotel, food, clothes, things.

It's gonna suck to drive alone, but kind of nice to have a break. Here's one for the road. Hope the house goes quickly so I can get a new one far away and get out of the Suckdum realm.

Foggy

It is hard to be positive when you are driving through pea soup fog. Why in the heck are there so many freakin idiots driving around with no lights?! Hello...if you can't see the people with their lights on why don't you turn your headlights on...You freakin fools.

Yesterday we also had dense fog...I almost plowed into one of those no lighted idiots when they pulled out in front of me on a curve. I'm just glad that the Tahoe speed demon wasn't on the road behind me today. I absolutely hate that he can't leave early enough to drive 60 instead of the 80 MPH  he feels is safe. I also love when he passes 4 cars in a row with oncoming traffic breaking to avoid him on the ice. Boy he is one smart cookie.

I am missing California. When the dense fog rolls in over 4 lanes of freeway speeding traffic coming to a dead stop there are no thin sheets of ice preventing you from doing so. Nothing like coming around the corner from Vacaville to Fairfield to dead stop in your face. I am amazed I even did it for 5 years. I hate traffic, I hate crowds, and I hate cars. I miss warmth...I miss fresh produce...I miss delivery.

It's amazing what people think about you. Like no one knows I qualify for disability. I have mornings when I can't even get up out of bed because I can't move my leg. I have been putting off that 4th back surgery because I am not in the mood to suffer month and months through the pain, having someone have to take care of my kids because I can't pick them up, and know that I will never be able to twist or turn from my waist. Why is our insurance company the only one that won't cover artificial disks? Here I am damaging the bones in my back because there is no disk left to cushion. Bet you didn't know it was that bad. Glad I cleared that up...get off my back, my house is messy because I can't do it all myself.

It's only fair

You may all think I am heartless, but It is only fair that everyone that reads my blog including family know that I did lash out on my blog...But only after my brother in law threatened to kill me on Facebook! He posted it and it is only fair that everyone who isn't on his friend list know that is what happened here.

 (I have a screen shot of his post posted just minutes after leaving a comment on my page)

I never called anyone names, threatened them, or post crude pictures about them..I did apologize to one party over a comment I made in the post that followed.

This is the message that inspired the threat

 Back story...I sent hubby to the store to buy 3 apples for dipping caramel (ate one that night). He placed the bag on my counter and I had one apple left that morning. Um...Over an apple? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I know I have pointed this out several times that no one is here in my shoes...But even a house guest should not threaten to kill their host. Plus if you don't think I know what it is like to be a house guest, I have been one several times even living with my in laws without my husband. When you are a guest you walk on eggshells. It isn't your home, you don't insult the host, or tell them their cooking sucks (cooking my kids favorites) when you aren't contributing. I've been there and this isn't my first house guest either. Do I expect we will always get along...Heck no. It sucks to live with anyone in your house or theirs. It sucks! Get over it or move out...That's the plan.

Will we be living in Idaho long? At this point highly unlikely arrangements are being discussed to move as far away as possible as I type!

Time for Change

Recently this blog took a path that was not what I intended. I am not going to apologize anymore for it. This is not a family blog...It just isn't. It was never meant to be.

Due to the last couple of posts things have gone negative, so I removed them. It was never my intention to be very negative or involve family members or friends.

This is a blog about the stuff racing through my head late at night keeping me awake. This last week went down hill quickly. I'm not sorry for feeling the way I have, but I have deleted the last 3 posts of complaints and apologies.

From this point on my blog will still be open and your welcome to follow. I just don't care any more. I'll try to stay positive, but as most of us know. Things don't go our way, we aren't always positive, and like the 1st line in the header Take it with a grain of salt. This is just the secrets of a mommy blogger not a mommy blogging site.

Click, Click...Click Click...

Well, either I am Dorthy trying to get home or I just pulled a gun.

If you guessed either one of those you would be close...Those both apply right now.

I was watching Ruby a few days ago. Have you seen it?  About a woman that was over 700lbs and is now under 350lbs. So as I am watching (not sure why I do), eating my potato chips and french onion dip...mini candy bars...big glass of milk...Okay, so I am not that bad...about 3 potato chips before I realized I wasn't in the mood, I ate all the good mini candy bars the day before so I was left with the dark ones...really no one likes them when compared to the others, and the big glass of milk was probably bigger than that.

I love milk, I am so excited about milk delivery, except for the fact that I'll need delivery every other day or an extra fridge to house it all. Ohhhh....Cheese curds...there is nothing like Idaho Cheese Curds.

So Click...Click...why is it not clicking that I want to lose the weight? Click, Click...Click, Click....nope still nothing!

Anyone???

Anyone want to buy a house in Pierre, SD (aka...NoWhere!)?
Anyone?
I didn't think so....

We showed the house 3 times this week. I can't believe how stressful it can be. When I sold our house in Idaho, it wasn't stressful at all. Here I am completely freaked out it isn't clean enough and I have a mini toddler pulling everything out. Not that I didn't have 2 toddlers doing the same thing in Idaho.
Was I just more easy going 5 years ago?
I seriously feel run down now. I fall asleep on the couch around 8pm as the kids are running around eating cookies and crackers, pulling out every toy in their rooms, and pulling all the beds apart. Maybe it is just more important to sell this house because of our price tag and the fact that we will be packed and moved out all before mid March.
Could it be because there is no family here to give us a hand? I can't just send the kids away to grandma and grandpa's house for the day. Do you think anyone really cares if there are water spots on the shower doors? I am so sick an tired of cleaning those off. The other shower has decided not to share hot water. Cold shower anyone? So to fix that will cost us an arm and a leg. We had the plumber over once...he was no help, answer was, "Well, I don't know." and then sent the $69 bill for less than 10 min of work.

Looking for homes to buy is so....I can't even think of the right words. I have in my mind the places I want the kids to attend school...but they cause the poor hubby another 30 minutes of drive time...Do I have to bite the bullet and have my kids grow up as Trojans? It still makes me cringe. I know it's just High School, but it sticks with me...like what HS had the most Hicks, rodeo, snobs, druggies, etc... I am sure things have changed, but I am having a hard time getting over it.

Last week our budget was $220,000, this week I was informed it is $180,000...I am sure by next week it will be $130,000. Now he is thinking of moving to Wyoming because there are no state tax...For the same price we can afford a 800 sq ft 1 bedroom cabin. Hahaha...I am trying to picture all of our belongings in a house smaller than our very small 1st apartment in California. We have so much stuff! Enough to fill our 3000 sg ft home...I think it is only fitting that we own a home around the same size...I am having a hard time down sizing.
But in the last week we have thrown away over 8 yards and way over 1000 lbs of stuff (some of which could have been donated, but when there are two men in charge of carrying everything away...you don't really get to pick and choose).

So if you hear of anyone wanting to buy a home in Pierre, SD, let me know. There are no other homes comparable to our home or you could pay more than the price it was listed at.

Sitting Up

I am sitting up after midnight again...

We listed the house today. With no comparable in the whole town or surrounding areas it made the pricing difficult. Should we have asked for more? I think so, but hubby wouldn't call back. So there really is not much cushion from what we owe and what they are going to short us. With the house listing in the morning...It just makes me mad because I am looking around at all the stuff that everyone has left out for me to clean.

Why do men not understand that the women picks the house out? She is the one looking to see if there are dust bunnies stuck to the chairs or snot on the wall...Why doesn't he think it is a big deal to have the shoes piled up by the front door?

My heck...Why does he get to go to bed after making the hugest mess in the world while I stay up and clean it? I can't even leave the house or it might be 10 times worse when I get back. So the stretch of living in another persons home has begun. The phone could ring at any moment and I'll have to leave. I have to live in an almost impossibly clean house. People don't understand what it is like to have kids. Moms understand what it is like to have kids, but when you start shopping for a home you are not a mom you are a person. A person that wants a perfectly clean house with no milk spills on the floor, no pop tart pieces under the edge of the counter, and forget about the potty training chair because that screams that there has been an accident on the carpet, even if there hasn't been...Maybe that's just me thinking all these things.
My heck. It's taken me a week to clean the house because I have to have all the clothing color sorted in the closets, the books in size order, finger prints off the glass. Am I the only one that thinks that all these little things that can be dirty show that a person doesn't take care of their belongings?

I am so sick of people coming into my house and commenting on how nice it is. Of course it is nice! My heck...just because it is not typical of this community still thriving in the 80's style. Ahhhh! The realtor even told me that its too bad I'm moving because I could have stayed and designed beautiful houses. Take a look at the internet, look at other MLS listings in other states...How about a current magazine? Okay I am feeling a bit too mean. I guess no one here is used to someone with vision.

It also occurred to me (yesterday) that my husband and I are young and our house is not typical 20 something owned home. I have high end taste and lucky enough to have the shopping skills to back it up. I was able to buy all the kitchen, plumbing fixtures, lighting, appliances, tubs/showers/sinks/toilets, and blinds. for $20,000. Because I shopped smart, I have really nice things.

(It also drives me nuts to be told I have more stuff than anyone has ever seen. I just have it spread out because my husband can't stack a box and most stuff has been in a box for 9 years!)

The Names have been changed to protect myself from violence to others.

Dear Dick,

I just want to thank you for believing a rumor that my husband was going to accept the new job. Had you not screamed and yelled at him the morning he returned from the interview, he would not have accepted the job.

Thanks to you I am leaving  my big brand new custom house, leaving my friends, and losing my 2 home-based business customers. Thanks to you, my kids are leaving their friends behind, the only school they know, and a pretty student oriented school curriculum. Thanks to you, I no longer have to put in the effort to co-chair the craft based fairs, organize activities for local moms, or take attendance of our church's children.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your actions since that first encounter. my husband was able to make a life altering decision seconds after before consulting me. This took a lot of stress of my shoulders to not be involved. You continued behavior has spoken louder than the words you use and my husband does not have to worry about backing out. His resignation letter is on your desk ready to go. Without you, Dick, we would not have 30 days to sell our home and move away.

Thanks again,
Kiss My A**

Not that we aren't excited to move home, it is just such a life altering and final feeling decision to do so. It is strange and frightening to take such a large pay cut, pay state taxes again, and move in with the In Laws. I am sure I'll get over it, but it pisses me off that everyone at work is treating my husband like he is a traitor for leaving when they are all from here. Even some of my friends from here act like I don't exist now because of it. Hello people...There is nothing great about this place! It just happens to be where your from, so get over yourselves. We want to go back to where we are from, but we wouldn't hold it against you if it was the other way around. You Suck!!!

Thanks for letting me vent, maybe now I can sleep instead of being awake for hours on end drafting my internal letter to my husband's coworkers and boss (that just happens to rhyme with Dick).

Clean or not to Clean

At 3am I was hoping I could get to sleep...then came 4am, 5am, 6am, the alarm at 7am....Blah...I hate when I have to be somewhere in the morning that I can't sleep. I have been up almost 40 hours now. Which brings me to the issue keeping me up...

So what if I sleep in! If my husband is home or it's the weekend...who cares?!!! I am so irritated. I know that some family...who I didn't want to be here in the first place, mind you....thinks that I am a bad housekeeper and shared that with everyone else.

Yes I sleep in...I sleep in because I am a night person, I have insomnia, and it is the only time I can have a real break from the day! It doesn't make me lazy. And true...my house is cluttered and messy...You can move out! If I wanted to clean it or even felt good enough to clean it I would. I choose to leave my Stampin Up stuff in a pile at the end of the cupboard and all the dishes in the sink untill I have a full load. I'm not lazy...I have other things to do.

My husband doesn't stand up for me about it, like I wish he would. He knows I am desperately in need of 2 disk replacements or they will fuse my back and I don't want that at 29yrs old. He knows I have a 1yr old that requires a ton of attention. He knows I have to drive to town and back (40 miles at least) everyday for the older kids. He knows I have two independent businesses that require man power to run stuff around. He knows I volunteer for tons of stuff that I love to do. He knows I have to have some me time.

He thinks I have my priorities messed up when it comes to the house. I really don't. I clean the sinks, I scrub the toilets, I do the dishes, laundry, and all the other stupid stuff. I don't have mold and spores floating around everywhere (granted a dust bunny or two has floated around the computer a time or two). I mop the stupid floor on hands and knees...What else do you want from me?



Should I pick up the clutter? Probably would be nice, but if I have better things to do then I'll leave that up to you. Really...I do have better things to do!

When procrastination bites you in the butt

I scheduled the Realtor to come at 9am on Monday to give me a deadline...I needed something to drive me to clean up the clutter...It is Friday early AM...I have nothing totally clean except my son's closet. The smallest closet in the house for that matter. All the hubby has done is cleaned out the garage. Granted it is the same size as our house (maybe the selling factor for us), but still it would be nice to have him do something with me in here.

I hate the fact he just gave away my ficus trees to a friend's husband that came to pick up a mattress and a door. Granted he had already thrown them in the dumpster he has parked out front along with the Hoover Floor Mate and Dirt Devil floor cleaner. Come to think of it what else of mine has he thrown out?

When normal people are up it will be Friday. Friday I have to dive the daughter around after school to pitch business owners on the idea of setting up a Girl Scout cookie shop...About an hour after that the Hubby and Son will be spending the night for a Boy Scouting overnight event.

Topping it off I have had to post 3 review/giveaways on my other site in less than 24 hours. Like I have time to work? It takes so much time to giveaway blog it is unreal...Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. Sometimes it is Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it is fun and sometimes it sucks butt!

I am sure now I will be up all night Sunday cleaning, scrubbing throwing things in boxes down stairs. That is how I usually do things...The night before the last day of school at Christmas I am cooking gingerbread for churches and houses for the teachers...Day before Thanksgiving just starting the turkey defrosting process...

The only good thing about it is...I might stress but I get it done and if I don't then no big deal I'll do it the next day. Does turkey really need to be served on Thanksgiving? Granted I only have under 45 days to get this all finished and only 3 days to get it set...Crap! Where did the time go...Oh wait, I've only really known for a week now. Only had a set plan for 3 days. Do normal people do this? Fastest move I've ever done was a weekend's notice and I moved to the same location that I am moving to again...I can't believe returning home is always such a hurried experience.

Cleaning Sucks!

Cleaning sucks! Enough said right? I just spent an hour hugging my toilet...not because I've been drinking (which at this point would probably be welcomed) but because some dumb male designer decided it would be cool for us all to see how the toilet is plumbed. There are 6 different nooks on each side, not to mention the crannies for toilet paper dust/lint to gather besides other dust and particles. Why is it as you wipe things up that it seems to be messier and not want to come off? I scrubbed the floor too and installed the toilet paper holder that should have been put up a yr ago when we moved in. I feel like this house really has never been lived in yet an now I have to leave. Guess that will teach me to never custom design and decorate a house again. All I got done was half a bathroom and straightening up the pantry...This is going to take forever at this rate and the Realtor is coming over here on Monday morning.

My Million Dollar Family

My husband's boss is being a (not nice man). He is throwing a tantrum over my husband leaving the Dam. Did I mention my husband has a dam job? Not sure if his boss is just so angry because we are leaving with a huge pay cut, my husband is so young, or they just like him too much...

My husband had no plans to leave this dam, but by chance (you can call it what you will) he left his notification up one extra day. The email came across stating the coveted position was open. This is the type of job they call the retirement job. It is straight days, no shift work (awesome). Only 4 days a week and no holidays. No overtime...Just found out hubby worked 448 hours of overtime this last year (not counting his travel) plus 2080 regular hours. There are only 8760 hours in a year. 2920 hours of sleep...We only saw him 3320ish hours if he was home and we were home. Wow...that's a lot of time.

Why is my family worth a million dollars? In an email "the Boss" sent this weekend, he made sure to point out the fact that my husband will lose over $30,000 a year...in the course of his career he will lose over 1 million dollars ($1,000,000).

I asked my husband if he was sure it was what he wanted, pay loss and all and he said, "I think it is important for us to live by our family. I want to be there for the kids and I love you very much, so Yes it is worth it."

Oooohhhh I am so Mad

I am so mad at my husband. He thinks I blog way too much and I don't have my priorities straight. Doesn't he understand that I just don't want to clean the house?!

I blog and sit on the computer while the baby naps or after the kids are in bed. If I wasn't doing that I would just be watching a movie or two. I spend on a usual day less than 2 hours. I guess it could sound like a lot, but if I were still working...I would be on even longer. It seems like if you work you get the interaction all day long and when you stay home, you usually don't get any adult interaction till your spouse comes home.

Don't they get it? Sometimes you just need to get away and that's hard to do with kids. I've been home alone with my kids since Thursday afternoon. I took the baby to play group during the day, but after that...nothing. So what I didn't scrub the floor till Sat. My priorities aren't messed up.

When I was selling Pampered Chef full time he complained I did that to much so he told me to quit at the first of the year. Did/Do I want to...no! But my priorities were wrong then too. I guess he just wants me to stay home and do nothing. I'm sorry but that's just too boring. It might work for him if he was ever here, but he isn't! (steaming)

He doesn't notice when I do anything around the house so why do it? He said he isn't calling me lazy, but it feels like it. I just hand scrubbed the floor for 2 hours, did 2 loads of dishes (my dishwasher is awful), fixed the couch, cleaned under it, and vacuumed the living room. Has he said anything? No. Will he, NO. He thinks he has to throw everything away.. he even called me a Hoarder! I have to say, he is not my favorite person. He has no clue what it is even like to pick up. I have to set the trash out in the middle of the floor for 2 or more days of everyone tripping over it before he takes it out!

I am always picking his undies off the floor (on my side of the bed) because he doesn't put it in the laundry basket. Just because my side is closer to the door doesn't mean that the laundry basket right outside is any further away! I've asked for a month to have the diaper pail emptied. I'm the hoarder...So what I have 2 dining room tables...One is more of a breakfast nook table and we payed a butt load for it and it's perfect for scrapbooking. It's not my fault he never finished the basement so I can use it! I'm not getting rid of the nice stuff just to make him feel better!

Stop moving me around so I can take stuff out of boxes.

To Church or not to Church?...That is the Question...

(Hoping not to offend anyone)
Alright...Church is in just a few hours...Not sure I can put my heart into it. A lot of people  (which is most of them) aren't talking to us over the fact Dear, Sweet Hubby applied for a out of state job.

Who can blame him? With Friends/Acquaintances/Church members like these....no one really.

Dear Church goer,
This is not the end of the world...It's just the return of ours.
Sincerely,
Moving on

Do I dare tell them it's a bit more than an interview now? Oh, heck no! The house will go up on the market...if we are lucky no one will notice and we can disappear into the night. Not really.

It was so difficult to even be accepted here in the first place. After 4 years of hard work...They like me, They really like me...hahaha...and this will just crush them.  I'd like to thank all my fans and followers of Pampered Chef and Stampin' Up...Dang, guess I'd better let them know, oh and the MOPS moms because I am in charge of all the mom activities, guess I finally did find a way to get out of that...Any other obligations...Well guess I have to resign from all the craft boards I am on...no more money for me, lol.

On a serious note...My cousin that is 3 has some serious health issues and he has to have surgery again (there have been so many and he will need them over and over again for the rest of his life). His oxygen level has come up to 60% and they will be going in to try and fix his veins and arteries again. There is a special prayer and fasting session going on right now. So if I don't go, I know I'll feel guilty, but if I go I know I'll feel a bit miserable...one my back and two the glares.

Did I mention the church members hated us for over a year when we moved here? Well we were told it is a family there (literally) and we weren't family (picture glares). We were also told and still mentioned they don't need no Idaho and Utah people coming in and taking over their church...Yes...most of you are laughing cause you get it...It is comical to hear from a leader at the pulpit during a state wide gathering...with a majority of the audience being from Idaho and Utah, there for just a few years.

So to Church or not to Church?  I just can't wait to be back in my element with crafty people on Super Saturdays, lol...

Maybe I want to Fly South

Found a house that has been stripped to the sheet rock. The people took the kitchen sink, cabinets, and theater seating...Guess if you can't pay your loan you take what you can carry and run! I think it is almost comical that they ran off with some of the carpet besides. I don't think it is funny that they over extended themselves. I just think it is funny that they felt it necessary to run off with the finish work! If we were going to lose our house then I would think that would include the inside furnishings bolted, stapled and glued to the walls and floor.

The house has been on the market for 22 days...Do you think it will last another 15-45? lol

I am not sure that a normal person would spend $205,000 for an unfinished house. I know we would not spend that much to get it. Not sure I want my kids to be Trojans when they grow up and attend high school. Seems like cruel and unusual punishment. Plus I am so afraid they will end up dating distant cousins because both sides of my family are from there. There was a time in HS when I was dating that I commented to a Aunt (married my dad's brother...just happened to be related to my mother) about how cute this boy was I met and she said, "Well, you know you are related right?"
Bummer...but I never called him, lol.

I think it would be okay to live just 15 miles from my parents...and his. 15 miles is close, but not stop by every single day close...That gives me 22 minutes to clean house from the time I receive the phone call they are on their way.

I'm not scared of a challenge...I can finish the inside of a home for under $20,000...I am a smart shopper...Guess I'll have to post some pictures of the inside when I get it clean enough to list, lol...Anyone want to take my kids for a month so it can be listed? Guess I've done it before. I kept the other house clean with kids by myself after Morgan left to work...But dang it we only slept there.

Is it bad to say..hey just move me to TX instead because there is no snow there? I've never been there and I want to live by my family, but I hate snow now. It is keeping my hubby stranded in the Denver Airport...he has been there 9 hours this time...and 8 hours on the way there...Now he has caught a flight to a town 4 hours away, but has no hotel and no car...He is missing work all for a new job...Nice.

The happy Freaked out Dance

Do you jump up and down...Do you turn yourself around...Do you shake it all about?

It is still a tiny bit early...but it looks like I might be selling my home.  My beautifully hand chosen sinks, pretty walnut floors, custom glass banister, (sigh)...gone. Never to be had again. I designed this house to be what I wanted...And even though this house has been a source of anger and financial woe...I am gonna miss it.

I hope it sells quickly, but the price tag that tucked up in the eves might not let it go as fast as we want. It has taken over a year for me to let the anger go. What anger has this house caused? It's more like this whole town and lot and building process.

Thinking of building? Hold on to your money! The one thing that we have learned...Building can be horrible if it is a huge company or your closest friend. What do I mean about the town...We sold our very first house to move here and we sold it for a $10,000 profit. We got here and we could afford a stupid single wide trailer or a crooked little house on a sliding slope. Dumb stupidness! We had to sue our first contractor to try and get our house built...That cost up $8,000 plus $5,000 for the down payment. Still not sure why we were paying to be let out of a contract when they weren't delivering...Guess we needed a better lawyer (not to mention her costs). Made a great friend, who had a great family and included us at birthdays. He became our general contractor...Highly recommended...Built 4 houses in our area...promised 4 month turn around (had seen him do it in 2). He gave us bills, showed us receipts, and I got a phone call just days before our 8 months of horror was about to close (although he was still around long after that and left unfinished).

"Hey, this is the Heating company...We haven't been payed in over 7 months and we are gonna put a lien on your house."
OMGosh!!!
"Are you freakin kidding me?"

So glad I am really good friends with his wife. I sweet talked my way into holding them off. I called all the sub contractors. What the HELL!!! (forgive the language I was pregnant at the time) No one had been paid! How do you confront someone that you liked up until that point about a $40,000 deficit that you have just a day to come up with and no funds to fund it with? Because he is a contractor and they are this mythical creature that can escape the law...especially when they no longer own their business...

Can't say it is sweet revenge...I should feel bad he lost his business (he does great work). I should feel bad his wife lost her baby a month in (they just had a baby boy). I should feel bad he has skin cancer (successfully removed). BUT I just feel bad he hasn't lost his house, his brand new truck and Denali, and the bobcat he bought while working for us. I feel bad that we aren't friends still. I am glad that in a very small town that I haven't seen him in over a year until we just passed him the other day rounding a corner...Okay dug up some issues that still remain I guess.

So the happy dance...Looks like we might finally be moving home...But I'll know more on Monday. So how about a mini happy dance for now.

Man v's Wild and me!

My computer has been missing for a few days due to the motherboard finally going out. Now the speakers won't work! Don't they know I can't hear facebook messages when I have 20+ screens open and I can't see that page at all?

I've had a ton of stuff to talk about, but of course I won't remember until 3 am like usual. I like to send my kids to bed at 7:30...doesn't always happen, but usually by 8 they are all asleep. Tonight however the 5 yr old is testing my patients...Why does Bear Grylls do such dumb things? If your gonna try to go across a huge lake why wouldn't you test your boat before you get out to the middle? I know the show is about surviving, but to me that one is a no brainer! I finally finished braiding her hair so she would be so miserable that she would go to bed.

My husband is MIA tonight...alright I know where he is...he has been sitting in the Denver Airport for the last 8 hours. I just have a hard time believing that for $1200 a 8 hr is the best that can be done...8 hrs in a huge airport that I am sure has more than one plane arriving to his destination...I am sure those people payed far less for their tickets.  Part of the problem is our local airport canceling his original flight because of ice rain, however the rain didn't start until an hour before he left on the afternoon flight.

So my husband is interviewing for a new job...his old one is just fine...the new one is the same thing just different division and way less money. Granted no shift work...How does one justify it? We would be moving back home, but the job is a bit further from home...Either my husband travels and hour to and from work or our kids travel and hour to and from school by bus...neither one are very appealing when dangerous stretches of road are involved.
(What the heck is Bear doing now?!)
To make matters worse about the possibility of this job is people out here have heard about it and now won't talk to us...like we are deserting them...There is a reason that no one calls this barren waste land God's Country (except the locals because they don't know better)! Like normal people think it is normal to be flown 4 hrs to a hospital...drive 4 hours to go shopping...eat...go to movies. Seriously...If your town wants to be a serious place why don't you let people/businesses move in instead of running them off. Price gouging is not okay. I seriously hate the fact that before the recession our house here would have cost the same as the area just outside of San Francisco...No Joke! Had we purchased a house in CA...us thinking it was too much...Who the heck in their right mind pays $170,000 for a single wide trailer on rented property?
(He was in a old Homestead, just in case you were wondering.)

So...while Dear Hubby is back home interviewing for a position he may not get...he is going to look at the house right next to his parents. (hoping they never see this) his mother made my life miserable for the first 7/9ths of our marriage. She didn't even talk to me the first year (we only came back 2 times). She would ask my husband to ask me even though I was standing right there...What the heck man?!
She has just recently decided that she needs to see our children...so this move would be perfect for her. She doesn't understand that because my parents have always been there that they do have priority.
(Seriously Bear, why didn't you take care of that before you went in there?!)

Really, should I pay you?

So almost every Monday I have a woman come in and clean my house...I know you were wondering how I can get it all done...The truth? I don't. I don't know how any mom can get it all done let alone a Mommy Blogger or a mom with a job outside the home (or in home for that matter)!

I was thinking back to when I was a Finance and Warranty Manager at a large Boat and RV dealership (which has closed since I left...yes, I was that important and the economy did help). How did I keep my house clean? I was a single parent because my husband was working full time in another state so he wasn't picking up the mess. Then it dawned on me...I work over 60 hrs a week, my kids don't call me mom, and I am never home...No wonder high paid business women have clean homes...they aren't there!

So being Monday, bright and early is when she shows up to clean whatever needs cleaning. I personally loath the idea of someone cleaning my house. I hate the way people do it. I used to follow the woman I paid $100 an hour to and re-clean everything she touched. (I was on bed rest and 6 months pregnant, but I wasn't about to let my friends in to do it either.) I can hear you laughing now...So I stayed up until 4am cleaning before someone else could. It isn't that I save it all till the last, it just seems to be a never ending job. I sweep my floors every day...Every Day! Did it look like it when she arrived today? No it didn't.

Me being the smart woman that I am, shuffled her down to my basement...Thinking it would take up the two hours and she would not be right in the middle of the mess (when I get making cards I can whip up a gigantic mess). I am not quite sure how she was able to pile every box up around the perimeter of the basement so fast, but I can now see the floor. My darn husband (and his family) just can't get the concept of how to stack a freakin box. For the past year I've had 1 box high covering over 1400sqft of the basement (I am allowing for the walking path to the storage room and the bathroom).

So lucky for me she had 20 minutes left to come up and sweep my floor and put the groceries away (where ever she felt like) in the pantry. I know serves me right for not putting them away a week ago, but if I hadn't cleaned all night long she wouldn't have been able to even get in there! Why do husbands think they are being helpful when piling things out of site, but right in the way?

Since I am not going to take a nap and I got up hours earlier than normal...I am hoping to make it to bed by midnight for once...Probably won't happen. I'll probably have more stuff to talk about because I can feel a new post coming on right now...Let me just say it involves the house for sale right next to my Mother In Law...woo hoo!

The Family is in bed

The family is in bed and I am of course working on giveaways for my alter ego site. Does anyone really know how much work review and giveaway blogging really are? No no they don't because if they did no one would be doing it!

So I made dinner tonight...I didn't want to because of the fire, but I did. I did because the baby was crying and I didn't want to hold her. Am I selfish? Yes, yes I am...I wait all day for my husband to come home so I can be my own person again. I have a very hard time giving him his me time because he is alone all day long. The kids have a little over 1 hour with him before they go to bed. He deserves to be in my shoes for that hour!

I mostly like it when my husband cooks because it means I don't have to do anything but sit and supervise form the couch. But I did get off my butt and throw some precooked meatballs in the oven and cooked some noodles.  How do you blame someone for your pantry being low when you are the real culprit? It's difficult, but it can be done. It takes a bit of stomping around and saying things like "If you would just put stuff away instead of leaving it on the floor." and "Who put this box on the floor so I can't see anything?"

Play the card right and you could be on a all inclusive on your own trip to the store with maybe a stop off at the movie theater or ice cream store. If your really organized you can hit your local shopping center and get the list in under 30 minutes...Seriously plenty of time to enjoy yourself. Don't feel guilty...Those kids came out of your body (or another woman's body)...It's a mom's right to relax otherwise the whole thing falls apart.

So back to dinner...I would have been perfectly fine with the bag of meatballs and cheese bread I pulled out of the freezer, but hubby acted like there needed to be more. He didn't have to say it, but I can tell he thinks my skills have been lacking (do I have to mention the fire again?).

Crap! What is there in this house and why didn't I buy anything at the store last time I was there?! Fridge don't fail me now...Score an expired (by a few days) half used sour cream...Why am I so freaking magical?  Can of Cream of Mushroom soup a staple on the bottom shelf in the pantry (I forgot to check the expiration date on that one). I can make Stroganoff. A quick call to my mom to see if there really is anything missing and she points out Worcestershire...Well, I have that in the other fridge. So it is on!!!

Did you know that Worcestershire sauce expires? After putting everything away I looked at the bottle...mine expired in 2008. It was only a splash so I am just waiting for the food poisoning to set in...partly because I forgot to time the meatballs and then the thermometer was missing the battery.

Now I am enjoying Peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies from the Schwan man. They are so hot I am eating them with a spoon. Who says you have to wait to eat them (if I had made them from scratch, they wouldn't have made it to the ready to cook stage)? 

I just have to say two more things...I watched the Golden Globes and I love Sophia Loren, but why didn't anyone get her some better glasses to wear? Seriously...so unfashionable! And the big one (lol, I mean pair) Who dressed the woman from Mad Men that looked like she was going to fall out of her apricot colored dress that was way too small and her chest was way to big to be going strapless! Yuck...It wasn't even something I could look at and I don't mind a good pair if dressed properly...That sounds worse than what I meant it, but I am sure your thinking the same thing...Yes, I thought so.

Started a fire just because...

So I stay up really late...No really late...4am. When you're a mom it doesn't make the next day easy. For some reason my husband can't have a 9 - 5 job Monday - Friday...he has a who knows what's next kind of job...This week he is on days for 12hrs Sunday - Tuesday...Where does the weekend go?

I have amazing kids. I know every mother does, but mine let me sleep in. I am not proud they do because I have told them plenty of times to wake me up when they get up...Yes, I could set an alarm, but honestly I would be so upset if I am the only one up in the morning. I am sooooo not a morning person.

Sometime around 11am I woke up because I heard my 1yr old knock on my door. I sleep in even if I make it to bed early, but I have never slept this late before. I could hear the 5yr old on the phone talking to grandma. I still haven't figured out why she doesn't have them wake me up either.

So I drag myself out of bed...Yes I have told my doctor several times that I can't sleep at night. but I guess he doesn't count that as a real issue...he likes to prescribe anti depressants (and I am not depressed!) and check my Vitamin D levels...I must be the palest person he has ever met because he is always checking my blood! Just call me Pale Rider because I am going places.

Everyone has eaten...The key for me is to have it ready to dish out...I only do this because they won't wake me up. My tooth is still upset at me over the root canal (front teeth are not ideal locations) so I am stuck with the soft foods. I decided to make Cream of Wheat...I just made it last night, I've made it a million times...I could have made it with my eyes closed until today.

I measure out the water and start heating it up, I measured out the cereal and set it aside. When the water started to boil I accidentally knocked over the 1/3 cup of dry cereal all over my counter top.  I was mad, but not mad enough to stop and say choice words. I put the pan back on the heat and poured a new cup of cereal...I repeated the steps move pan, start to pour cereal and out of nowhere my mandolin (the grating kind although I am musically inclined and could own one) starts to head for the scorching hot burner...Now if you own a Pampered Chef mandolin you aren't going to let that sucker melt all over the glass cook-top. I reached out to stop it and the 1/3 cup of cereal that was more than half way full poured out onto the hot burner...Instantly it caught fire.

I was almost dumbfounded...My glass top smooth cook-top just caught fire. I am a great cook...I cook in front of an audience...How in the heck do I catch my stove top on fire? I watched as the flames carefully licked up all the dry cereal on the hot circle.  I didn't flip out until the 5yr old suggested we call 911...The fire put itself out as soon as the cereal had burnt itself out. "We don't need to call 911. Don't you remember the officer telling you to call a parent first?!"
I called my husband...he didn't really care, no worries from him.






Now I get the privilege to clean it up so I can make dinner...Not really feeling in the mood to make dinner...The Schwan man came just before that...had I known this would happen I would have picked something to microwave or bake...guess I could start a fire there too. How do you get that I just burnt the stove top look off? I can barely get the I just boiled the potatoes over look off. Guess I should be glad the top is black and not white.

So I started a fire just because...My house is too messy.
So I started a fire just because...I was too tired to cook.
So I started a fire just because...I am a freakin mom and I can do what I want!

Welcome to my mess.

Welcome to my new outlet for those Mom moments that are less mommy and more adult. It's my alter ego blog. If you would like to visit the sweet and silly blog please do at MNMSpecial Giveaways. Right now there is no real direction for this blog except the unsugar coated sweet as cherry pieness...not biting my tongue before I had kids voice honest thought process.

I stay up really late at night and have all these moments that pop into my mind that have happened, are going to happen or should happen. Sometimes it keeps my mind up to the point I am still awake when the sun comes up again.

There is only so much one person can be told to go to bed...I am sure that when I am still up at 2 am my friend in Japan is just getting her kids out the door for school. The sun might be ahead of me or following right behind, but here is my jumbled up thought process unleashed.


Thanks for visiting.